The 4th of July baby
My Sister Barb is celebrating her birthday today. I would like to take a moment of your time and set out some of the really cool things that I’ve learned about her over the years.
1. She’s dead-center middle in our Sibling Hierarchy.
2. While a teenager, she was convinced that I was the most annoying thing in the world.
3. She once killed a bear with her bare hands.
4. She’s fluent in Portuguese.
5. She accidentally invented Brylcreem while trying to fry up some chicken.
6. Her name is banned on three continents due to awesomeness.
7. Her arms are detachable, though she will vehemently deny this.
8. She once stopped a bullet just by glaring at it.
9. She’s waiting for the Statute of Limitations to run out, but she won’t tell us why.
10. And finally, she can crack walnuts with her mind.
Happy Birthday, Barb! Thank you for not killing me every night!
I don’t remember any of that.
Does number ten mean she’s a real nut-buster?
Next you’ll tell me that you’ve never noticed her tattoos.
I think you’re a little confused, I once stopped a speeding KEITH by glaring at him. (and you were annoying)
Were???????
Just what are you saying?
She’s asking if you’re a Were-Creature like her.
Great. One more thing to keep in mind if I visit down there in the evening; what phase the moon is in.
I WERE very sorry I joined this discussion!