Susskins Central Dispatch

He’s still alive

Just found this. One of the funniest things I’ve seen in quite some time. (Watch all the way through the credits.)

Snark by the barrel, delivered in easy installments

Fred and I went to Rifftrax Live tonight. The Rifftrax guys (Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy and Bill Corbett from Mystery Science Theater 3000,) did a live performance in San Diego which was simulcast to movie theaters all over the country. (The simulcast was carried by Fathom Events, who do this sort of thing.)

The evening was (mostly) dedicated to bizarre little Christmas films, most of them with an air of surreal incompetence. One of the few that didn’t hew to the Christmas theme was a strange promotional film about pork, full of three-part harmony about the wonders of meals prepared with said pork. I cannot adequately describe how strange it was; it can only be experienced.

I thought I was going to laugh myself to the point of rupture. This stuff is exactly my kind of humor and had me gasping for breath.

Fred was mostly horrified by the films. Oh, there were some dark, twisted visions of Santa, and some genuinely weird bits of animation. The term “nightmare fuel” definitely applies. Freakish and strange.

They will be rebroadcasting the event tomorrow night as well. If you’re near a theater that does Fathom Events, consider going. Super fun.

For Suzette, who has great taste in music

Here’s some Queen for y’all.

I love Queen, especially Seventies Queen. They had an awesome sound, and lots of presence on stage, mostly thanks to Freddie Mercury. Fantastic shows, and crazy-ass sounds.

This is from their first album, recorded during studio time that Paul McCartney had reserved, and then never shown up for. (He apparently did that a lot; they got a lot of free studio time because of that.)

Holy crap, look at those pants

The Tale of Despereaux

An animated movie, featuring a very small mouse with big ears and no good sense of how to cower like a normal mouse. There’s also a sorrowful princess, a temperamental chef, a lost rat, soup, a captive cat in a repurposed stove, a piggy servant with the unfortunate name of Miggery Sow, a man made of vegetables, and a despondent king.

The trailers for this movie emphasized Despereaux himself, which I think was a huge mistake. There’s so much more to the story, and so many offbeat characters that could have been promoted. I remember seeing the trailer and thinking, “well that looks boring.” Surprisingly, it wasn’t. Lots of action, lots of unusual plot twists, and lots of soup.

Fun little movie.

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That Time of the Month

And plenty satisfying

I’ve been reading a website called How To Cook Like Your Grandmother, by a guy named Drew Kime. It’s about cooking with real stuff, rather than processed foods. The recipes are all built around purchasing fresh, natural ingredients instead of things like canned soup or powdered mixes. It’s not an organic foods thing so much as a “lard, not Crisco” kind of ethic.

I can get behind that, though I still like Crisco a lot for baking.

Drew is also an opponent to secret recipes. I salute him for that. I am more than happy to share recipes, and believe that secret recipes do nobody any good. So when Grandma dies, her Orange Cake recipe dies with her? Screw that. Spread the recipe like a bee spreads pollen, so that the Grandkids can make that Orange Cake themselves and think of Grandma with love whenever they have a slice.

So tonight I was getting caught up with the website, and saw that Drew had posted a recipe for Chicken Divan. The recipe called for some of his Creamy Asparagus Soup, so I looked at that recipe. And decided that it was time to try something new. Drove to the store and picked up onion, asparagus, and a big russet potato. (Forgot the garlic, so I used dried for that.) Came home, and tinkered in the kitchen for a pleasant hour or so.

Here’s the result. I also made Drew’s Egg Salad, which is incredibly simple and delicious, especially on sourdough bread.

Seriously good. Fred made all sorts of yummy noises while eating it. The soup was excellent, and the egg salad was a great complement to it. This was a rich meal, but not overbearingly rich. I’m done eating for the day.

But now we’ll have that bizarre odor when we pee.

Fat reduction without liposuction

Tired of being fat, tired of clothes not fitting, tired of blood glucose out of whack, tired of not being able to ride roller coasters.

And then a guy sends out a tweet pointing me to Spark People. It’s a free website designed to help you lose weight and get healthy. It’s similar to Weight Watchers, but without any cost. And it’s got some nifty features that take it into the social networking field, similar to Facebook and Ravelry.

So I’ve signed up. I’ve got a lot of work ahead of me, and I’m going to go through with it. Because dammit, I want to go ride Voyage. And Nemesis. And Boulder Dash. And Nitro. And Montu. And Top Thrill Dragster. And even the much reviled Renegade.

So. On with the Flab Attack. You can track my progress along with me over at My SparkPage.

Is it the sushi?

Yet again, Japan proves itself to be the country with the highest Insanity per capita of the entire world. For some reason, the Japanese nerds have latched onto a former gay porn star and have turned him into a strange internet meme.

This is weirder than that muscle game I posted about a few months ago.

Put down that bong and pick up that guitar

Today’s song is by Monster Magnet. It’s called Ego, The Living Planet. It’s an instrumental. It’s from the album Dopes To Infinity. It’s ridiculously repetitious. It’s stoner rock.

The title refers to Silver Surfer comics, if I remember correctly. (Checks Wikipedia…) Nope, Ego originated in the Thor comics, and also appeared in other Marvel publications.

Monster Magnet has a habit of referencing comics and other bits of nerdity.

I don’t know why I like this song so much, but I do.

Okay, this is a weird one, in that I’m not entirely sure that I like it. But I can’t get it out of my head.

La Roux is a duo comprised of Elly Jackson, the musician and Ben Langmaid, the producer. Elly is the visible component of the duo. She’s got a strange eighties androgynous style, with weird upswept hair and bizarre clothing. The music is also very eighties, reminiscent of The Human League, Sparks, The English Beat, etc.

So, here’s the absolutely ridiculous earworm that I can’t get rid of at the moment. (I’m liking it more and more as I listen to it.)

Sometimes you don’t expect it

Fred was laid off from his job today. Kinda came out of the blue.

They gave him a nice severance, and his boss is giving him good references. (This is almost unheard of in the retail world.) So it’s an amicable parting. But it’s still a bit of a sock to the stomach.

I have no doubts that things will be fine. We’ve been through this before; we’ll go through it again. Luckily Fred had just signed up for his Social Security benefits, so we’ve got that coming in a couple of months. We’ll be good.

Boy, do I need a vacation. Hey! We start one tonight!

Good timing, that.

I am easily amused

Eartha Kitt. What can you say about her? Exotic? Sensual? Deceased?

Yep, all those things. She left behind a legacy of highly unusual work; unusual and varied in scope and seriousness. How many performers can you think of that were big cabaret performers in Paris, and were also in an Ernest movie?

Naturally, her music runs that kind of wide sweep. I’m especially partial to this song, in which she extols the virtues of potentially misbehaving. Ladies and Gentlemen, Miss Eartha Kitt singing I Want to be Evil.

I’m enjoying the process of annoying my brother with my music. Here’s another one.

I really like The White Stripes. They’re a bizarre garage-band throwback with a primitive sound and a lot of ability.

Okay, let’s be a bit more honest. Jack White is the one with a primitive sound and a lot of ability. Meg White has less ability than Jack. But the two of them create music that really makes me happy.

Jack, having loads of talent, also participates in side projects and whatnot. One of his side projects is a band called The Raconteurs. They have a great sound with blasting guitars and occasional horns. The song I’ve posted is called The Switch and the Spur, and has a weird spaghetti western vibe that I really like. Click the little play button, and enjoy a song by The Raconteurs.

I’ve got a thing for Pop Rock, and have had for a long time. I like hooky melodies, and guitars. Not sure what it is that grabs me about it, but it generally makes me happy to listen to.

So here we have a nice little earworm by Mike Doughty, the man who created Soul Coughing, that weird “deep slacker jazz” band that I have a strange fascination with. But he also has done some more accessible albums on his own, including this piece that he’s reworked a number of times. The song is called 27 Jennifers. This version is from his album Golden Delicious. Go buy it; it’s a good album.

It done been sawed

Excellent movie. Thumbs up. No surprises if you know the book, but well executed anyway. They did a great job of packing everything in, without it feeling rushed.

Looking forward to the remaining two.

Our long national nightmare is over

Tomorrow, Fred and I are going to see Harry Potter and the Half-blood Prince.

We like the Potter movies. Good fun. I’ll be very interested in how much of the book they manage to cram into the movie. They’ll definitely have to trim some stuff.

And this one has Jim Broadbent in it, who is one of my favorite character actors.

Yes, I know. La-dee-dah.

That Michael Bay sure can make things loud

We went to see Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen yesterday afternoon. Seemed a good use of our day off. We weren’t disappointed.

It was exactly what we expected. A big, loud, dumb spectacle. We enjoyed it. What’s not to love about giant robots beating the crap out of each other?

If you want great acting and plausible stories, you’re making a mistake picking one directed by Michael Bay, let alone one starring a Hasbro line of toys. If you just want stuff to explode, he’s your guy.

The 4th of July baby

My Sister Barb is celebrating her birthday today. I would like to take a moment of your time and set out some of the really cool things that I’ve learned about her over the years.

1. She’s dead-center middle in our Sibling Hierarchy.
2. While a teenager, she was convinced that I was the most annoying thing in the world.
3. She once killed a bear with her bare hands.
4. She’s fluent in Portuguese.
5. She accidentally invented Brylcreem while trying to fry up some chicken.
6. Her name is banned on three continents due to awesomeness.
7. Her arms are detachable, though she will vehemently deny this.
8. She once stopped a bullet just by glaring at it.
9. She’s waiting for the Statute of Limitations to run out, but she won’t tell us why.
10. And finally, she can crack walnuts with her mind.

Happy Birthday, Barb! Thank you for not killing me every night!

I have waddled down to the basement

Status update: Fred’s tooth is completely fixed. Last Saturday the dentist told him that his tooth was infected, gave him antibiotics, and referred him to an endodontist for a root canal. On Monday, an endodontist did the root canal and charged us a rather daunting $530. (That was half the bill. Our insurance paid the other half.) On Friday, the original dentist did the permanent filling on the tooth. Today, Fred took the last of his antibiotics.

Problem solved.

So today has been a lazy day with lots of laying about. I did a fair amount of shopping for groceries, since I hadn’t been up to it last weekend. And just a bit ago I cooked up some brats, potatoes and corn on the cob on the grill. We’re both fat and happy, and later we’ll go out for ice cream. Fred has a gift card for Cold Stone Creamery.

Plus my A1C is 5.5, which is a fantastic blood glucose reading. The ice cream will not present a problem for me.

Life is good, bitches.